Nepal is a land of diverse ethnicity, with 123 different ethnic groups to be precise, having their own set of customs and traditions. Despite this diversity, there is one thing that unifies these people of different ethnic groups into proudly calling themselves Nepali: their innate sense of hospitality, deeply rooted in the belief that a guest is god.

‘Atithi Devo Bhava’, which translates to ‘Guest is God’, is a common belief across all cultures in Nepal, where guests are considered to be another form of god or a guest of the gods themselves. This statement prescribes a dynamic of the guest-host relationship, which includes the conventional Hindu-Buddhist ideology of treating visitors with the same reverence as a god. 

The phrase ‘Atithi Devo Bhava’ has been extracted from the Taittiriya Upanishad (a Sanskrit text from the Vedic era), which has the following mantras in Shikshavalli I.11.2: matrudevo bhava, mitradevo bhava, pitrudevo bhava, putradevo bhava, acharyadevo bhava, and atithidevo bhava. “Be one for whom the Mother is God, be one for whom the Friend is God, be one for whom the Father is God, be one for whom the Child is God, be one for whom the Teacher is God, and be one for whom the Guest is God” is how it translates to English.

Nepal, which is known as the Abode of Gods, is not just well known for its medieval architectural haven, but it’s also pretty famous for its hospitality as well. If you’ve already been here, then chances are – you might have even experienced a whole-hearted welcome to a Nepali household.

Hospitality in Nepali society is common across all castes and cultures. Nepalese people put extra effort in order to serve their guests. This practice of hospitality dates back for years, as we can hear stories of travelers visiting unknown places for trade and business. Despite their anonymity, these travelers were welcomed to stay in villages with open arms. These practices are still relevant in many rural parts of Nepal. We can often hear the term ‘baas basnu’ when any individual requests a host to spend a night at their place. 

It’s the belief in this notion of God that is reflected in many Nepali households. Nepalese people are often known for going out of their way to help anyone, especially their guests. Sometimes these gestures can be overwhelming for foreigners since most of them aren’t used to such kind of hospitality. 

The Nepali Way of Greeting Guests

Nepali is an agriculture-based country. Historically, and at present, the majority of its population has been involved in the agricultural profession. Since technological innovation is very rare in rural Nepal, farmers are often compelled to assist each other in their field duties. In return, they are treated with festive feasts and celebrations as a sign of gratitude. Due to this tradition, good hospitality has been an ever-present characteristic of the Nepali people.

Daily life and everyday customs in Nepal are mostly influenced by aspects of Hinduism and Buddhism. Social interactions play a key role in terms of defining one’s identity here. The sense of communion is more prevalent than individualism here in Nepal. Since Nepal is home to more than 100 different ethnic groups, different communities have their own way of greeting each other. Namaste is the most commonly used greeting here.

Tobias Lopez, a resident of Germany who is married to a Nepali woman, says, “As a future son-in-law to a Nepali family, I was pretty nervous about how I should behave appropriately, at first. I had to be conscious about how I greeted people, what I had to say, what to do, and what not to do. All worries, however, were extremely quickly set aside upon first encounter. Everyone was very caring, interested, welcoming, warm, and kind. While of course it was a tad overwhelming to get to know a big new family with unfamiliar names and relations to one another, the delicious food and unavoidable drinks being offered by the very hospitable Newari community, of course, greatly helped to reduce any nervousness and initial distance.” 

Foreigners and locals are often greeted with warm smiles and vertically joined palms accompanied by the words ‘Nah-mas-tay’. Namaste, which is also addressed as Namaskar, signifies many things that vary from a welcome to a gesture of gratitude, based on its context. Another interesting fact about the Namaste gesture is that it may also vary from person to person based on their social position.

The way in which one performs the act of joining their palms and saying Namastey varies in different ways. If an individual is considered to be highly respected, then the hands are usually held high towards the chest. Apart from Namastey, there are other gestures, such as bowing down and touching the feet of elderly people, demonstrated to show respect towards the elderly.

Apart from these gestures, other ice-breaker greetings used by the Nepalese people are: ram ram, taremam, jojolapa, jhoralang, tashi delek, etc. All these gestures signify a welcome greeting that can also be used as a conversation starter in respective communities. Other common conversation starters that you may hear in Nepal are: khaja khanu bhayo (did you have breakfast/lunch), khana khanu bhayo (did you have your main meal), sanchai hunu huncha (are you fine), etc…  

It’s pretty common to be greeted with a Namaste in Nepal, but there’s more to it. Garlands accompanied by red tikas are a common occurrence in Nepali households while welcoming or bidding farewell to guests or family members. However, in Buddhist communities, you may be welcomed with Tibetan-style scarves placed around your neck. These scarves are known as khada, which are usually given to show respect. The Newari community has a different way of greeting its guests. Along with the usual practice of putting a red tika on your forehead, a red cloth that is known as kokha is put around your neck, followed by an offering of sagun, which is a form of appetizer consisting of boiled eggs, dried fish, lentil pancakes, and local raksi, to the guests as a sign of respect. In some parts of Nepal, especially in the highlands, a welcoming gesture includes touching of foreheads.

In special cases, five young girls known as Panchakanya welcome important guests. The girls, who represent the five most revered ladies in Hinduism, are meant to be virgins. They frequently drape a flower garland around the welcomed guest’s neck. Special visitors are greeted with cheering, horn blowing, and drumming in certain towns. In other circumstances, all it takes to receive such a reception is to be a foreigner in a hamlet that hasn’t seen a visitor in a long time.

Apart from the welcoming gesture, there are a lot of things that a guest should be mindful of about Nepali hospitality. Consider this your ultimate guide to the Pahuna (guest) culture of Nepal.

Mind Your Head

The head is considered to be one of the highest parts of the human body, both literally and religiously. Since the body is more developed higher up on the body, many South Asians wear lucky charms in their shirt pockets rather than their trousers pockets. According to the Riga Vedic scriptures used to support the caste system, the head of the original man gave birth to the highest castes, while the feet gave birth to the lowest. Hence, it is not recommended to pat or touch anyone’s head without consent.

Shoes Outside, Please

To start off with the basics, when you enter any Nepali household, make sure to take off your shoes before entering any rooms. Nepalese people value cleanliness based on the influence of their social and religious customs. Cleaning the house is a regular errand in many households. The housewives are expected to clean the house every morning as part of a traditional belief. However, this notion seems to have changed over the years, with both partners sharing equal responsibilities in the house, especially in the city area. Despite having such an attitude towards cleanliness, it’s normal to see people spitting on the streets.

Namaste, No Handshakes

Handshakes aren’t that common in Nepali culture. Nepalese people are quite reserved when it comes to showing intimacy through physical touch. You may notice close friends with their arms placed around each other’s shoulders or even hugging each other in some cases. However, you’ll rarely see people of the opposite sex having such physical contact with each other. Even married couples are not encouraged to show public displays of affection since it’s considered immoral to show such behavior.

A Family That Eats Together, Stays Together

When it comes to serving food, Nepalese families usually dine together with the female members serving food on the table. Even during feasts and celebrations, guests can be seen sitting in lines with their legs crossed and food being served to them by the hosts in a leaf plate. This traditional practice of feasting is known as Sukubhwe or Bhoj, in general. Having said that, buffets have become a standard practice for many Nepalese people residing in the city. But it is still an uncommon practice in many Nepalese households.

Food Speaks Louder Than Emotions

Nepalese people aren’t that expressive when it comes to showing their emotions and dissatisfaction. The culture of showing respect towards their elders often compels people to remain silent during discussions between the elders. They also often avoid eye contact during conversations since direct eye contact with their seniors is considered disrespectful. Hence, they often use food as a means to show their love language. So the next time you’re offered food by any Nepali family, consider that as an appreciation for your presence in their household.

Other Superstitions to be Mindful of in Nepal

Nepal, as a society, values social hierarchies a lot and has its social fabric structured around the caste system. Despite losing its essence to modernity, you may still witness such practices in many parts of rural Nepal. Superstitious beliefs are another key aspect of the Nepali culture, even when it comes to hospitable practices. Here are some interesting stereotypical beliefs still practiced in the Nepali culture;

• Whenever you eat something with your hand or your hand comes in contact with your mouth in any instance, Nepalese people use the term Jutho, which implies impurity. So basically, you’re not allowed to touch anything in the kitchen or the prayer room without washing your hands. Yes, Nepalese people have a dedicated space to pray in their house. This belief in Jutho is so strong that even when Nepalese people drink water, they make sure that they don’t touch the tip of the bottle or container with their lips.  
• If you’re a lefty, then brace yourself to read this next point. In Nepal, the right hand signifies an auspicious aura, whereas the left hand is considered impure. Since many Nepalese people prefer using their hands to eat, they’d preferably use their right hands. Even while receiving something, you’re expected to use your right hand. In some cases, using both hands to receive something is also considered a sign of respect.
• Handing over chillies or pepper directly is considered a bad omen since there is a belief that it might arouse arguments between the people involved.
• Whistling inside someone’s household is considered disrespectful as Nepali people believe that it will invite bad souls, devils, and ghosts into their house.
• It is customary to touch someone’s feet as a symbol of deference and, frequently, subservience. Some females will kiss their husbands’ or their spouses’ in-laws’ feet. Touching the feet is seen as a gesture of respect because they are the lowest and dirtiest part of the body. Also, do make sure not to point the soles of your feet towards anyone since it may offend them.
• Stepping over any type of deity or god figure, or object used in worship, is viewed as extremely disrespectful. Do not descend the stairs until they have passed you if someone is carrying these items, as you can be viewed as stepping over the item if you do. Also, do make sure not to step over someone’s outstretched legs, too.

No matter how absurd some of these credences may sound, it’s these aspects of the Nepali culture that help them stand out amongst others. Many tourists visit Nepal to witness these practices. However, as modernization has taken over the world, these cultural practices and traditions are slowly losing their value. Commercialization has taken over most parts of the cities, resulting in the abandonment of the Nepalese cultural heritage. Lack of proper management by the concerned authorities has also resulted in many temples and medieval structures being left to rot under the rubble of modern buildings. 

But there’s still hope as efforts are being made to revive these old architectural buildings along with the preservation of Nepalese culture. Restoration of old medieval structures is ongoing to make it sustainable for the long run. Similarly, involvement of youths in age-old cultural practices is another step that has been taken to prevent the culture from dying out. Another such alternative for these preservation efforts is the establishment of homestays in different communities.

Establishing homestays in a community is a great initiative in terms of cultural preservation, especially in a country like Nepal, which is so reliant on the tourism industry for its economic growth. The impacts of commercial tourism have become pretty evident over the years, with businesses aiming to expand their operations without any regard for the local communities and their surroundings. Exploitation of resources, dying cultures, vandalism (in extreme cases), overcrowded destinations, pollution, etc., are many of the negative impacts that commercial tourism can have on a society.

It’s high time tourists, along with local stakeholders, adopt a more sustainable approach towards tourism. The whole essence of tourism lies in the natural beauty of a particular destination, accompanied by its pure culture. Tourism is not just about nightlife and posh hotels; it’s more than that. It’s an opportunity to immerse oneself in authentic cultures and learn new things from each other. Community Homestay Network (CHN) is one such initiative that has been established to bridge the gap between local as well as international travelers and community-based initiatives like the homestays. With the aim of promoting community-based tourism and uplifting the economic status of the local people, CHN has been operating since 2012 in almost 36 communities across Nepal. 

Jyoti Shreshta, a resident of Panauti and one of the hosts of the community homestay program, says, “Thanks to our homestays, Panauti is becoming a popular destination in our country. The establishment of homestays has helped the women in our community, as they feel empowered through various training programs. We’ve also witnessed an enhancement in our quality of life. It’s good to see the appreciation of our culture, traditions, and food. New businesses have been established, like Kaula Chhen (a place for Newari food) and Panauti Bike Station. Having homestays has supported the needy people from our community.” She further adds, “Whenever guests visit us, they enjoy their stay here because they get to witness and participate in our cultural practices. The revival of Dhimey Baja is one of many examples of the positive impacts that the homestays have had here.”

Well, if you intend to learn more about a country’s culture, it’s important to have those cultures preserved in the first place. Staged cultural dances, fancy swimming pools with a view of the mountains, a jacuzzi, a private bar, etc., will only give you luxury without authenticity. Hence, it’s important to make conscious decisions if you intend to travel responsibly. So if you’re really interested in experiencing the authentic culture of hospitality in Nepal, you know what to do on your next trip.